Argent: Shouldn’t you be busy? Cyn: Nah. I made a resolution I could accomplish in one day. Now I can kick back and relax the rest of the year.
Cyn: Fun fact: since when are facts fun?! My idea of a fun fact? There is a delicious candy bar the size of a basketball on my desk.
Bingo: My fortune cookie said my dreams would come true in two months. But… it’s almost been two months and nothing has happened! Argent: Well that’s funny, because fortune cookies always tell the truth.
Argent, Bingo, Raúl: Happy birthday Cyn! Bingo: You look better every year! Cyn: Ain’t that the truth.
Cyn: Sometimes marketers do this thing called an email blast. It’s where
Gray Dog: Don’t forget it’s Valentine’s Day! Blue Dog: Yeah! You need to buy something for someone. Or else you don’t love them. Dogs: Buy something buy something buy something buy something Argent: Another corporate nightmare?
Bingo: Hey guys, watch this new trick I learned!
A Typical Dinner
Argent: This salad would be easier to eat with chopsticks. Cyn: Grrrr Argent: Or fingers.
Cyn: It’s alive. It’s alive! hahahahahahahahaha Caption: That was the last time Cyn cooked Thanksgiving dinner.
Cyn: It’s gotta be around here somewhere. Here it is. Huh. What’s this scroll thing?
Cyn: Dun dun duuun. Also, I found the pie that disappeared last month. Argent: Cyn, where did you get this? Cyn: From one of the attics. You know what this means? Argent: Oh no. Cyn: You all better call in your vacation time, because we’re going to find the treasure. Argent: We’re supposed to take… Read more »
Bingo: I’m not sure I want to- Cyn: *snap* Bingo: -go on an adventure. Bingo: How does she do that? Argent: I do not know. Cyn: Even with the internet, we have no hope of figuring out some of the stuff on the map. So we’re going to meet the canines who do. FvnZZPbfjlxc: I… Read more »
FvnZZPbfjlxc: What? Have you not seen a library before?
Bingo: That whole place is full of books? It will take forever to go through them! Do you have a computer catalogue? FvnZZPbfjlxc: Oh my, that is funny. Wait. You were serious? You mean you still use computers? This is simply fascinating! Quick – name any state! Bingo: Uhh… Barkansas? FvnZZPbfjlxc: Amazing! It’s a wonder… Read more »
Black Wolf: I see you have taken an interest in the books. FvnZZPbfjlxc: It was not until we lost it that we realized the power of memory. Today, everything you see here is known by an Archiver. Any of them will surely know whether the symbols on your map exist elsewhere. It appears Grrr is… Read more »
Grrr: No need. Raúl has told me you have a map you wish deciphered. Cyn: But Raúl can’t talk! Grrr: There are more ways to talk than with words. Your map, for example. Hmm. I see why you are confused. Your problem is this: this is not a map. It is a cry for help.
Grrr: These landmarks exist, but are not even on the same continents. Add these characters and you have your coded message. Of course, you are about 62 years too late. But I will enlighten you nonetheless. “Overwhelmed at Castle Last Hope. Enemies come by land, air, and sea. X’s location will be discovered if help… Read more »
Grrr: There is no indication as to what X is, or where it is located. However, the castle is nearby. If you still wish to invest yourselves in this journey, I suggest starting there. FvnZZPbfjlxc can point you in the right direction. FvnZZPbfjlxc: Follow me. Grrr: It was …interesting… to see you again Argent.
Cyn: You’ve been here before?! Argent: Would you believe me if I said no? Cyn: No! If I believed you, it would be exactly like one of those books where the characters all happily accept some strange situation or detail as the truth, while the reader rolls their eyes at how obviously suspicious it is!… Read more »
FvnZZPbfjlxc: Castle Last Hope is about a day’s run from here. You can see the tower beyond the forest. Simply follow the setting sun. Cyn: Well, so much for that. Let’s go home now. Bingo: W-what? We aren’t going to the castle? I wanted to stay… Cyn: Ha! I knew you would see it my… Read more »
Bear: GRRROAAAR Cyn: Go! I’ll handle this.
Cyn: Um… Hi there. How are you? Bear: Fine now. You sure did startle me. You are just passing through? Cyn: Yes, we’re on our way to Castle Last Hope. Cyn: Ah, you’ve still a ways to go. Travel safe. Cyn: Thanks. Nice enough bear.
Argent: What happened with the bear? Cyn: It was friendly. Bingo: Hey… We haven’t slept since Cyn put her paw in that pie. Let’s stop for the night. Raúl: Yawn. Cyn: Have you heard the story about the dog who fetched cheese?
Cyn: She was a cook at Howl Castle. Every day she would trudge down the winding staircase and into the maze-like cellar, usually for the delicious aged cheese castle guests loved. It was a mindless task. Castle Dog: Haha. How did I end up here again?
Cyn: They never found her ghost. Bingo: H-huh? Cyn: Who knows where it could be now. Argent: I once heard of a fellow who invited someone to his house for dinner. The visitor left a drink on the table. Later that night when the owner was cleaning his house, he went to remove the glass… Read more »
Bingo: Hey Cyn, do you know how to play watermelons? Cyn: No. Bingo: Okay, let’s play! There are two blue watermelons and two green watermelons… Argent: Quit talking you two – you are just creating more filler. Cyn and Bingo: Awww. Argent: We are here. Bingo: That’s a big gate. Cyn: Yeah.
Guard: Stop! Have you taken a moment to look in awe upon the castle gate? Guard: Go on in. We only keep the gate closed so we can show it off to everyone. Cyn: Couldn’t dogs just walk around it? Guard: Are you implying someone wouldn’t want to admire this amazing work of architecture? Guard:… Read more »
Cyn: That looks… safe. Bingo: What’s going on? There’s so many dogs. Argent: Sounds like a concert. Cyn: Let’s ask around and see if anyone knows anything about the battle that happened here. Bingo: Why didn’t we ask the guards? Cyn: Come on Bingo, everyone knows guards are useless.
Cyn: Hey! Argent: Those dogs are a bad sign. They must also be seeking the treasure. Cyn: Huh? But they’re wearing bouncy bumble bee antennae thingies. They’re probably really friendly. Argent: That’s what they want you to believe. Bingo: No one I talked to knows anything about this place. Let’s look around.
Cyn: Hhhhiiii-yah! The best stuff is always hidden behind things on the wall. We should check the throne room for a secret entrance! Bingo: Bingo. Cyn: Are you talking to yourself again? Oh.
Janitor: I’ve lived here my whole life. Go ahead and ask. Bingo: Wasn’t there a big battle that happened here in the last 70 years or something? Janitor: Ahaha. You’re not from around here. There hasn’t been a war in over a century, though I think I know why you are confused.
Janitor: That’s right. Just one dog. How could it be called a war when the odds were so uneven? She said the birds followed her wherever she went, trying to get revenge. So finally they got it.
Janitor: The birds returned to the forest and haven’t been seen since. If you want to see where the explosion happened, keep going down the stairs to the lower levels. Nobody goes there anymore, though. Cyn: W-why not? Janitor: We don’t have enough cleaning staff to take care of the whole castle.
Cyn: It’s a pile of rubble. We’re going to have to find the birds and ask them. They must have the treasure now. Bingo: If they have it, we don’t have any right to it. Are we going to take it from them? Cyn: No, but now I want to know what it is. Don’t… Read more »
Cyn: Wait. Argent: It is cut deep. The artists may have worked around it. Cyn: Which means the treasure is…
Cyn: Let’s go down into this creepy looking hole. Bingo: Okay! Cyn: Or we could argue about it for thirty minutes, then make the same decision.
Cyn: That’s it? That’s the treasure? …What is it? Bingo: I think you put it in your computer or something. Uh, Cyn, where are you going? Cyn? Cyn: …
Bingo: I’m pretty sure that’s not how it’s supposed to work. Cyn: Did you want to spend the day looking for a computer? Argent: What was it? Cyn: An idea. A terrible one. Let’s go home. ?: Not so fast.
Bumblebee: Hand -er- paw over the treasure! Argent: You’re too late. It’s gone. Bumblebee: We can’t leave empty pawed. So it looks like we’ll be taking all of your fur.
Bumblebee: Paper cuts!
Bumblebee: Open the gate! Guard: ‘The gate?’ This is no ordinary gate, bumbling cur! Sit and appreciate this work of art. Cyn: Ha-hah!
Bingo: You’re not going to tell us what it was? Cyn: Knowledge to create a weapon that can destroy an entire continent. A small one. But still! Bingo: That’s not useful at all! Cyn: I know! Bingo: Why go through all the trouble to bury it? Cyn: The problem with knowledge is it’s hard to… Read more »
Raúl: munch munch
Argent: Milk milk milk milk milk milk milk milk milk. Cyn: What do cows drink? Argent: Water. Cyn: What do you put in a toaster? Argent: Bread. Cyn: Pete and Repeat went to the store. Repeat bought a game. Who bought a game? Argent: Repeat. Cyn: Pete and Repeat went to the store. Repeat bought… Read more »
Bingo: Home sweet home. Argent: Yeah.