2008

Cyn: I mean, think about it. Who was actually there to see God create the universe? Nobody! Sure God said he created the universe. But how do we know it wasn’t plagiarism?

Cyn: I’ve got something important to tell you. It’s about cell phones. The- Phone: ring Cyn: Oh. Let me get that. Hello? Heeeeyyyyy~ Yeah, totally. And then he was like and I was all biomedical engineering golfball. I know! Okay. Later. Bye. Cyn: What was that important thing I was saying?

Cyn: Are you done yet?

Cyn: Flies. They’re annoying. Stupid. And ugly. It gets worse. They never really die. They fall on the floor somewhere and buzz on and off for hours. When you find them (if you ever do) they’re under stuff. You can’t reach them. And they buzz. Always the buzzing! rrrrrrrARRRGGHHHHHHH

Cyn: Yes! It’s the one and only college checklist!! 1) Do your laundry. Cyn: Why is there just one sock? 2) Eating is important. Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner. 3) Remember to bring… Computer, Powered Lamp, Keys Cyn: Stupid!… Stupid!… Stupid!… Note: disembodied hand accurate representation of typical professor 4) Think! Cyn: Hey guys! Let’s put this… Read more »

Cyn: Welcome to Creative Writing 381. There will be no writing creatively. Every sentence will follow strict grammatical guidelines. If it is not at the beginning of a sentence, or not a proper noun, do not capitalize it. All papers will have 1″ margins, 12 point Times New Roman font, and be double spaced. Poetry… Read more »

Cyn: Did you know? White berries are poisonous. Unless they’re white mulberries, which taste like rootbeer.Fold your hands as if you were at a business meeting. Whether the left or right thumb feels more natural on top is determined genetically [simple Mendelian trait].You can put salami in the microwave to make pepperoni.Your arms become posessed… Read more »

Cyn: Why do we always include ‘at the mouth’ in the phrase “foaming at the mouth”? Is there somewhere else that might foam?…

Harry Potter: Expecto Patronum! Hermione: Expecto Patronum! Ron: Expecto Patronum! Cyn: Expecto Patronum! *munch munch*

Cyn: *ahem* Map: Antarctica, North America, South America, Australia, Africa, Europe, Asia Cyn: Now, shame on the 26% of you who can’t find Australia on a map. Just think, if everyone read this comic people might actually get smarter! Side effects of intelligence may include apathy, dry sense of humor, sarcasm, and apple pie. Readers… Read more »

Cyn: The world in which we live is constantly changing. Unfortunately, that was the best excuse I could come up with for the format change. The other option was to whine, and complain about lack of funding.

Cyn: Ever notice how most comics have one or two characters per panel? Garfield, Get Fuzzy, Calvin and Hobbes, Ozy and Millie. That’s because it’s so darn hard to fit more! …Okay I give. Who are you? Doberman: Well gee, I only live here. Who the heck are you?

Cyn: Happy. Aphrodite. George B- Argent: My name is Argent. …George Bush? Cyn: Imagine all the unoriginal jokes I could make if that were your name.

Cyn: Why the name Argent? You’re not ‘silvery-white’ at all. Argent: I was when I was born. Cyn: Really? Argent: Actually, it was probably because my mom was looking into a bright hospital light for a long time.