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Cyn: Let’s go down into this creepy looking hole. Bingo: Okay! Cyn: Or we could argue about it for thirty minutes, then make the same decision.


Cyn: That’s it? That’s the treasure? …What is it? Bingo: I think you put it in your computer or something. Uh, Cyn, where are you going? Cyn? Cyn: …


Bingo: I’m pretty sure that’s not how it’s supposed to work. Cyn: Did you want to spend the day looking for a computer? Argent: What was it? Cyn: An idea. A terrible one. Let’s go home. ?: Not so fast.


Bumblebee: Hand -er- paw over the treasure! Argent: You’re too late. It’s gone. Bumblebee: We can’t leave empty pawed. So it looks like we’ll be taking all of your fur.


Bumblebee: Paper cuts!


Bumblebee: Open the gate! Guard: ‘The gate?’ This is no ordinary gate, bumbling cur! Sit and appreciate this work of art. Cyn: Ha-hah!


Bingo: You’re not going to tell us what it was? Cyn: Knowledge to create a weapon that can destroy an entire continent. A small one. But still! Bingo: That’s not useful at all! Cyn: I know! Bingo: Why go through all the trouble to bury it? Cyn: The problem with knowledge is it’s hard to… Read more »


Raúl: munch munch


Argent: Milk milk milk milk milk milk milk milk milk. Cyn: What do cows drink? Argent: Water. Cyn: What do you put in a toaster? Argent: Bread. Cyn: Pete and Repeat went to the store. Repeat bought a game. Who bought a game? Argent: Repeat. Cyn: Pete and Repeat went to the store. Repeat bought… Read more »


Bingo: Home sweet home. Argent: Yeah.


Cyn: Bye guys! Bingo: See you tomorrow! Cyn: Hey Argent. Because of what I know, will those bumblebees come after us? Argent: No. Cyn: Bad guys or good guys, we don’t seem to get many visitors. -click- Cyn: Strange, huh?


Argent: Cyn, have you seen that teal map ribbon around here? Cyn: Ah, I think I dropped it. Argent: Could be anywhere now. Grrr: That’s an odd subject. Dog: It’s for a school report. Grrr: Heh. There are a few books. But the thing about secret organizations is you’ll only be able to find what… Read more »

Unreadable Mind

Cyn: Nobody knows what I’m thinking. I can think whatever I want. Muahaha~ Bingo: See, look! She’s making that face again. Argent: No sudden movements, or you’ll draw her attention.

Monitored Calls

Phone: Welcome. This call may be monitored to ensure you receive the highest quality of service. Argent: That’s what they want you to think the monitoring is for.

Environmentalist’s Monopoly

Cyn: I started thinking about applying for a job that pays more. Bingo: I thought you liked all of your jobs. Cyn: but I could make more money doing something less fun. Except I couldn’t figure out why I would need more money. What would I do with it? Bingo: You could buy things! Cyn:… Read more »

Love and Fame

Cyn: Love? Who needs love when you can have fame!Make it stop. Argent: I told you, but you would not listen.


Bingo: Hey Argent, what’s wrong with Cyn? Argent: You know of shared office microwaves? Bingo: Yeah… Argent: The sort that are always somewhat dirty, though every once in a while someone wipes off the plate and walls? Bingo: Uh-huh… Argent: She went to clean off the plate and noticed the microwave ceiling for the first… Read more »

Oh Dear

Argent: Cyn, what’s this? Cyn: I won 500 bucks.

Hour After Hour

Cyn: I should get off the internet now. One Hour Later Cyn: I should get off the internet now.


Argent: ‘Brainstorming’ and ‘throwing out ideas’ are wimpy. If nine out of ten ideas are going to be junk, you might as well fess up. Cyn: Well, I’m just barfing up ideas here. I think we should have two Facebook pages.

The Internet Needs to Know

Cyn: Make an account. Seems like I have to do that for everything these days. Gender: Cyn: Why is this always so important to you. What do you want from me?!

Grumpy Friends

Cyn: GRRRR GRRRRRR Bingo: poke poke Cyn: GRRRRRR Bingo: Cyn’s grumpy. What do I do? Argent: Give her a steak and leave her alone for a few hours. That usually does the trick.

Stop Thief

Bingo: Stop right there thief! Cyn: What, a banana? C’mon, what are you going to do with


Cyn: I want some cookies! Argent: You just had cake, ice cream, two doughnuts, a banana, and a kiwi. Cyn: Who’s counting? Argent: If you’re hungry, you can eat rice. Cyn: Awww.

Fortune Cookie Rules

Raúl: Bingo: Woah, you can’t look at the fortune until you eat the cookie! Bingo: So you better force down that dry, sugary cardboard.

Get On Board

Cyn: The best way to succeed is to get everybody on board with your idea.Until your ship is sinking.Then you’d best be getting a bigger ship.

Language Barriers

Argent: Pass me those crisps. Cyn: Crisps? Huh? Argent: *sigh* Chips. Cyn: Oh, these? Argent: No. No.

Freudian Slip

Cyn: We strive for arrogance. Cyn: Excellence! I mean excellence!

2,000,000 Strawberries

Hey, these taste pretty gooDAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH Music: “Black&White Cinema” by Jet Peks


Argent: Cyn, the library called. They want their books back.


Cyn: I’m going to put “getting endorsed” on my LinkedIn profile and everyone can endorse me on that.

Terms of Service



Cyn: SoIdecidedI’mnotgoingtouseanyspacestoday.

Free Peanuts

Package: Made in a peanut free factory. Dog: Free! Free! Be free!

Trick A Know-It-All

Cyn: How do you spell ‘Kleiner field’? Argent: … Cyn: Hah, I totally made that word up.

Kleiner Field

Bingo: Well, it’s a long story, but basically he ends up in a Kleiner field. Argent: What’s a Kleiner field? Bingo: Oh… well, I made it up. Cyn: Haha. Yeah geez Argent, everybody knows what a Kleiner field is. How could you not know what it is?

English Classes

Cyn: I just realized the irony of this.It’s in English.

Waste of Time

Cyn: So you may be thinking,‘Cyn, why did you waste all of that time sticking individual pieces of macaroni to the wall?’To which I say:Nothing is a waste of time if it’s fun.

Balancing Rocks

Cyn: Geology is cool.Go ahead Bingo. Touch this rock. Touch it. Bingo: No…

Sleep Is For The Weak

Argent: Cyn, get some sleep. Cyn: Pffft, sleep is for the weak! Argent: Which is why they should sleep, so they can regain their strength and not be weak any more.


Cyn: From now on, I’m ending all of my sentences like this! I guess I’ll have cereal for breakfast! I’m more exciting now! We need to order more paperclips! If I run out I won’t have enough to use two on every report! Can I have some scissors! Long ago, in a kingdom nobody can… Read more »

OCD Nightmare

Cyn: Some people are really sensitive about germs crawling all over them. I like to tell them this: The air is dirty. Think about it. Think about all the pollution in it. Think about how the air is always touching you. The sooty air, getting grime all over you.

Not All Who Wander

Cyn: Not all who wander are lost.Which could be all except one.Where the heck am I?…

One Man’s Trash

Cyn: If one man’s trash is another man’s treasure, does that mean everything is just “stuff” to women?

Cheese Forever

Waiter: Tell me when. Cyn: Keep going FOREEEEVER. Waiter: Well, we close at 11:30 and I’m here until about 12:30. I’ll get the next guy to take over after that.

Final Final Final Fantasy

Cyn: What’s this? Final Fantasy XXVI?There’s nothing ‘final’ about this!It just keeps going on and on and on. Switch titles with The Neverending Story for crying out loud.

Cookie Jar

Cyn: Oh no, the cookie fell out of the jar.Oh no, it’s in my mouth now.Oh no. Cyn: I was powerless to stop it.

Learning to Type

Raúl: tak tak tak tak tak Cyn: What’s going on here? Bingo: I’m teaching Raúl to type. Cyn: But there are no letters on the keys. Bingo: Oh, it’s like swimming. You throw them in and wait for them to figure it out.

Baby Names

Cyn: Friends of mine are expecting a baby boy.I told them they should name him Oedipus.

Spending in One Place

Cyn: Hey Argent, I got you something!Don’t go spending it all in one place, now. Argent: Cyn, this is a gift card.By definition I have to spend it all in one place.

Spice of Life

Bingo: If variety is the spice of lifeThen life must be something you eat?

Knowledge is Power

Cyn: If you think about it, librarians are scary.Their job is to know things.Things you and I don’t know.

Twitter Follower

Cyn: Hmm.Should you get nervous when the police department follows you on Twitter?

Late Holiday

Cyn: Hey, let’s celebrate Hanukkah this year! Argent: It is a little late for that. Cyn: If it’s only a little… Argent: Two weeks late. Cyn: Boo.

Seagull Surprise

Cyn: The stealthy hunter prepares to take down her tasty but dimwitted prey.She bursts from the sand! Cyn: I’m stuck.

Surprise Seagull

Cyn: That’s right, come get this delicious piece of popcorn.Look, I put it out just for you. Argent: Cyn, stop terrorizing the seagulls.

Effort and Affability

Cyn: Most people aren’t child prodigies. They got where they are through some combination of effort and affability.It’s your life. You get to choose what you want to do.

That One Holiday

Cyn: You don’t fool me. I see you for what you really are.A bizarre courting ritual.

Sidewalk Spots

Cyn: Ever notice those black spots on the sidewalk? For a long time I thought they were a naturally occurring phenomenon. The spots were just a sign of old age.Then I realized.It’s gum.Gum hardened and tarred into the cement by the sun.


Cyn: I ate a hot pepper. Bingo: And we spent the rest of the day at the emergency room!

Pass the Salt

Argent: Please pass the salt. Argent: Please pass the salt to me.

In Person

Cyn: Will we suffer bullying with silence? Will we lie down and agree that it’s bad to stand out from the crowd? That if we don’t conform, then it’s our fault when bullies strike?No! No more! Together we shall rise up! Together we shall shout it’s not just okay – it’s great to be different!Who’s… Read more »

On the Other Hand

German Shepherd: On the other hand……Wait, I only have one hand!NOOOOOO

On My Mind

Dr Wolf: What’s on your mind? Cyn: What’s on my mind?What is my mind?Where is my mind?

How to Cook

Cyn: Hi, I’ll have a New York strip steak, medium rare, with a house salad.…

Dog Air Freshener

Cyn: You know how dogs smell really bad? Well, We invented this dog collar air freshener. Now you can smell good wherever you go! Argent: And what scent are you wearing now? Bingo: Bacon.

Everything Is Soup

Cyn: What’s the difference between cereal and soup? Soup is liquid with stuff in it. Cereal is liquid with stuff in it. At what point does water become soup? Is this melted ice cream soup? I don’t know anymore

Dogs in Black

Agent: Contrary to popular belief, what has been seen can be unseen. Agent: Turn your attention to this red light.


Bingo: Every time I have trouble counting past 9, I just take out my trusty bag of M&M’s. That’s how I learned to do it in school.Eight… Nine… Ten…

Broom Closet

Cyn: Hmm, what’s this? A broom close aaaaaAAAAAaAAHHH

Worst Cook Alive

Cyn: Well, I’m not the most horrible cook alive, am I? Argent: …Not for long.


Bingo: If my last name was “Butt,” I would change it. Cyn: To what? Something more refined, like Derriere? Perhaps Keister, or maybe Tush?

Prepare for the Unexpected

Cyn: Urgh, another bad fortune! “The smart thing is to prepare for the unexpected.”You can’t prepare for the unexpected! If you prepared for it, you expected it!

If Not, Ha

Cyn: That should fix your problem, but if not, ha. Hahaha. HAHAHAH!

Ice Bucket Challenge

Cyn: Argent, if you don’t dump this ice water on your head, you have to pay me $100 and give me your sandwich. If you do pour the ice water on your head, I’m only going to eat your sandwich. Argent: I don’t think that’s how it works, Cyn.


Cyn: Why does pasta come in so many different shapes? I’m getting wheel noodles. Nobody can stop me!

Blood Type

Cyn: My blood type is AB. Bingo: Oh. Mine is red.

Words Are Toys

Cyn: Women are handsome. Men are beautiful. Words are toys.

How to Identify a Cat

Cyn: How to identify a cat: Dog: walk we’re going for a walk are we going for a walk oh yes so fun let’s go outside walk and look at fun things outside walk oh I can’t wait are we leaving now is it time to leave will we walk fast or slow oh my… Read more »

Bee Vomit

Cyn: Hey Raúl. How about some bee vomit on your pancakes?

Poll Paradox

Cyn: Do you answer polls? Poll: Yes | No Cyn: I see this trap.

Inaccessible Email

Cyn: Hm. I sent an email to notify people not to worry if they’re having trouble logging in to their email. I may need to rethink this.


Bingo: My external hard drive is 4 trilobites. Cyn: You mean 4 terabytes. Bingo: Terabytes?

My Name Is

Pug: Why hello, Bingo! Bingo: How did you know my name?

Too Much Good

Cyn: Too much of a good thing isn’t good.It’s wonderful!