Cyn: Let’s go down into this creepy looking hole. Bingo: Okay! Cyn: Or we could argue about it for thirty minutes, then make the same decision.
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Cyn: That’s it? That’s the treasure? …What is it? Bingo: I think you put it in your computer or something. Uh, Cyn, where are you going? Cyn? Cyn: …
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Bingo: I’m pretty sure that’s not how it’s supposed to work. Cyn: Did you want to spend the day looking for a computer? Argent: What was it? Cyn: An idea. A terrible one. Let’s go home. ?: Not so fast.
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Bumblebee: Hand -er- paw over the treasure! Argent: You’re too late. It’s gone. Bumblebee: We can’t leave empty pawed. So it looks like we’ll be taking all of your fur.
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Bumblebee: Paper cuts!
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Bumblebee: Open the gate! Guard: ‘The gate?’ This is no ordinary gate, bumbling cur! Sit and appreciate this work of art. Cyn: Ha-hah!
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Bingo: You’re not going to tell us what it was? Cyn: Knowledge to create a weapon that can destroy an entire continent. A small one. But still! Bingo: That’s not useful at all! Cyn: I know! Bingo: Why go through all the trouble to bury it? Cyn: The problem with knowledge is it’s hard to… Read more »
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Raúl: munch munch
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Argent: Milk milk milk milk milk milk milk milk milk. Cyn: What do cows drink? Argent: Water. Cyn: What do you put in a toaster? Argent: Bread. Cyn: Pete and Repeat went to the store. Repeat bought a game. Who bought a game? Argent: Repeat. Cyn: Pete and Repeat went to the store. Repeat bought… Read more »
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Bingo: Home sweet home. Argent: Yeah.
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Cyn: Bye guys! Bingo: See you tomorrow! Cyn: Hey Argent. Because of what I know, will those bumblebees come after us? Argent: No. Cyn: Bad guys or good guys, we don’t seem to get many visitors. -click- Cyn: Strange, huh?
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Argent: Cyn, have you seen that teal map ribbon around here? Cyn: Ah, I think I dropped it. Argent: Could be anywhere now. Grrr: That’s an odd subject. Dog: It’s for a school report. Grrr: Heh. There are a few books. But the thing about secret organizations is you’ll only be able to find what… Read more »
Unreadable Mind
Cyn: Nobody knows what I’m thinking. I can think whatever I want. Muahaha~ Bingo: See, look! She’s making that face again. Argent: No sudden movements, or you’ll draw her attention.
Monitored Calls
Phone: Welcome. This call may be monitored to ensure you receive the highest quality of service. Argent: That’s what they want you to think the monitoring is for.
Environmentalist’s Monopoly
Cyn: I started thinking about applying for a job that pays more. Bingo: I thought you liked all of your jobs. Cyn: but I could make more money doing something less fun. Except I couldn’t figure out why I would need more money. What would I do with it? Bingo: You could buy things! Cyn:… Read more »
Love and Fame
Cyn: Love? Who needs love when you can have fame!Make it stop. Argent: I told you, but you would not listen.
Microwave
Bingo: Hey Argent, what’s wrong with Cyn? Argent: You know of shared office microwaves? Bingo: Yeah… Argent: The sort that are always somewhat dirty, though every once in a while someone wipes off the plate and walls? Bingo: Uh-huh… Argent: She went to clean off the plate and noticed the microwave ceiling for the first… Read more »
Snow
Cyn: Snow!
Oh Dear
Argent: Cyn, what’s this? Cyn: I won 500 bucks.
Hour After Hour
Cyn: I should get off the internet now. One Hour Later Cyn: I should get off the internet now.
Brainstorming
Argent: ‘Brainstorming’ and ‘throwing out ideas’ are wimpy. If nine out of ten ideas are going to be junk, you might as well fess up. Cyn: Well, I’m just barfing up ideas here. I think we should have two Facebook pages.
The Internet Needs to Know
Cyn: Make an account. Seems like I have to do that for everything these days. Gender: Cyn: Why is this always so important to you. What do you want from me?!
Grumpy Friends
Cyn: GRRRR GRRRRRR Bingo: poke poke Cyn: GRRRRRR Bingo: Cyn’s grumpy. What do I do? Argent: Give her a steak and leave her alone for a few hours. That usually does the trick.
Stop Thief
Bingo: Stop right there thief! Cyn: What, a banana? C’mon, what are you going to do with
Snack
Cyn: I want some cookies! Argent: You just had cake, ice cream, two doughnuts, a banana, and a kiwi. Cyn: Who’s counting? Argent: If you’re hungry, you can eat rice. Cyn: Awww.
Fortune Cookie Rules
Raúl: Bingo: Woah, you can’t look at the fortune until you eat the cookie! Bingo: So you better force down that dry, sugary cardboard.
Get On Board
Cyn: The best way to succeed is to get everybody on board with your idea.Until your ship is sinking.Then you’d best be getting a bigger ship.
Don’t Text
Cyn: C’mon, don’t text and fly.
Language Barriers
Argent: Pass me those crisps. Cyn: Crisps? Huh? Argent: *sigh* Chips. Cyn: Oh, these? Argent: No. No.
Freudian Slip
Cyn: We strive for arrogance. Cyn: Excellence! I mean excellence!
2,000,000 Strawberries
Hey, these taste pretty gooDAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH Music: “Black&White Cinema” by Jet Peks
Read
Argent: Cyn, the library called. They want their books back.
Cyn: I’m going to put “getting endorsed” on my LinkedIn profile and everyone can endorse me on that.
Terms of Service
Cyn: Have you read a Terms of Service agreement recently? Or ever? Like, look at this one I agreed to yesterday: PLEASE READ THIS PROVISION CAREFULLY. IT INCLUDES AN AGREEMENT TO MANDATORY ARBITRATION. IF YOU WANT TO OPT-OUT OF THIS MANDATORY ARBITRATION AGREEMENT, THIS PROVISION DESCRIBES THE PROCEDURES YOU MUST FOLLOW TO DO SO. Cyn:… Read more »
Spaces
Cyn: SoIdecidedI’mnotgoingtouseanyspacestoday.
Free Peanuts
Package: Made in a peanut free factory. Dog: Free! Free! Be free!
Trick A Know-It-All
Cyn: How do you spell ‘Kleiner field’? Argent: … Cyn: Hah, I totally made that word up.
Kleiner Field
Bingo: Well, it’s a long story, but basically he ends up in a Kleiner field. Argent: What’s a Kleiner field? Bingo: Oh… well, I made it up. Cyn: Haha. Yeah geez Argent, everybody knows what a Kleiner field is. How could you not know what it is?
English Classes
Cyn: I just realized the irony of this.It’s in English.
Waste of Time
Cyn: So you may be thinking,‘Cyn, why did you waste all of that time sticking individual pieces of macaroni to the wall?’To which I say:Nothing is a waste of time if it’s fun.
Balancing Rocks
Cyn: Geology is cool.Go ahead Bingo. Touch this rock. Touch it. Bingo: No…
The Future Is Bright
Cyn: The future is bright. Too bright.I can’t see! My eyes, my eyes!
Sleep Is For The Weak
Argent: Cyn, get some sleep. Cyn: Pffft, sleep is for the weak! Argent: Which is why they should sleep, so they can regain their strength and not be weak any more.
!
Cyn: From now on, I’m ending all of my sentences like this! I guess I’ll have cereal for breakfast! I’m more exciting now! We need to order more paperclips! If I run out I won’t have enough to use two on every report! Can I have some scissors! Long ago, in a kingdom nobody can… Read more »
OCD Nightmare
Cyn: Some people are really sensitive about germs crawling all over them. I like to tell them this: The air is dirty. Think about it. Think about all the pollution in it. Think about how the air is always touching you. The sooty air, getting grime all over you.
Not All Who Wander
Cyn: Not all who wander are lost.Which could be all except one.Where the heck am I?…
One Man’s Trash
Cyn: If one man’s trash is another man’s treasure, does that mean everything is just “stuff” to women?
Cheese Forever
Waiter: Tell me when. Cyn: Keep going FOREEEEVER. Waiter: Well, we close at 11:30 and I’m here until about 12:30. I’ll get the next guy to take over after that.
Final Final Final Fantasy
Cyn: What’s this? Final Fantasy XXVI?There’s nothing ‘final’ about this!It just keeps going on and on and on. Switch titles with The Neverending Story for crying out loud.
Cookie Jar
Cyn: Oh no, the cookie fell out of the jar.Oh no, it’s in my mouth now.Oh no. Cyn: I was powerless to stop it.
Learning to Type
Raúl: tak tak tak tak tak Cyn: What’s going on here? Bingo: I’m teaching Raúl to type. Cyn: But there are no letters on the keys. Bingo: Oh, it’s like swimming. You throw them in and wait for them to figure it out.
Baby Names
Cyn: Friends of mine are expecting a baby boy.I told them they should name him Oedipus.
Second Amendment
Cyn: Everyone has the right to bear arms.RRRAAAAARGH!
Spending in One Place
Cyn: Hey Argent, I got you something!Don’t go spending it all in one place, now. Argent: Cyn, this is a gift card.By definition I have to spend it all in one place.
Spice of Life
Bingo: If variety is the spice of lifeThen life must be something you eat?
Knowledge is Power
Cyn: If you think about it, librarians are scary.Their job is to know things.Things you and I don’t know.
Office Plants
Cyn: Wait a minute…These plants are all fake?!
Twitter Follower
Cyn: Hmm.Should you get nervous when the police department follows you on Twitter?
Late Holiday
Cyn: Hey, let’s celebrate Hanukkah this year! Argent: It is a little late for that. Cyn: If it’s only a little… Argent: Two weeks late. Cyn: Boo.
2013 Finale: We’re All Dogs
Cyn: It’s a dog-eat-dog world. And we’re all dogs.
Seagull Surprise
Cyn: The stealthy hunter prepares to take down her tasty but dimwitted prey.She bursts from the sand! Cyn: I’m stuck.
Surprise Seagull
Cyn: That’s right, come get this delicious piece of popcorn.Look, I put it out just for you. Argent: Cyn, stop terrorizing the seagulls.
Sunroof
Commence the animation!
Effort and Affability
Cyn: Most people aren’t child prodigies. They got where they are through some combination of effort and affability.It’s your life. You get to choose what you want to do.
That One Holiday
Cyn: You don’t fool me. I see you for what you really are.A bizarre courting ritual.
Intermission
C. Prince: Come back next week, okay?
Secret Lair
Cyn: To the secret lair!To the lair!
Sidewalk Spots
Cyn: Ever notice those black spots on the sidewalk? For a long time I thought they were a naturally occurring phenomenon. The spots were just a sign of old age.Then I realized.It’s gum.Gum hardened and tarred into the cement by the sun.
Spicy
Cyn: I ate a hot pepper. Bingo: And we spent the rest of the day at the emergency room!
Pass the Salt
Argent: Please pass the salt. Argent: Please pass the salt to me.
In Person
Cyn: Will we suffer bullying with silence? Will we lie down and agree that it’s bad to stand out from the crowd? That if we don’t conform, then it’s our fault when bullies strike?No! No more! Together we shall rise up! Together we shall shout it’s not just okay – it’s great to be different!Who’s… Read more »
On the Other Hand
German Shepherd: On the other hand……Wait, I only have one hand!NOOOOOO
PEEPS
Cyn: PEEPS
On My Mind
Dr Wolf: What’s on your mind? Cyn: What’s on my mind?What is my mind?Where is my mind?
How to Cook
Cyn: Hi, I’ll have a New York strip steak, medium rare, with a house salad.…
Dog Air Freshener
Cyn: You know how dogs smell really bad? Well, We invented this dog collar air freshener. Now you can smell good wherever you go! Argent: And what scent are you wearing now? Bingo: Bacon.
Everything Is Soup
Cyn: What’s the difference between cereal and soup? Soup is liquid with stuff in it. Cereal is liquid with stuff in it. At what point does water become soup? Is this melted ice cream soup? I don’t know anymore
Dogs in Black
Agent: Contrary to popular belief, what has been seen can be unseen. Agent: Turn your attention to this red light.
Counting
Bingo: Every time I have trouble counting past 9, I just take out my trusty bag of M&M’s. That’s how I learned to do it in school.Eight… Nine… Ten…
Broom Closet
Cyn: Hmm, what’s this? A broom close aaaaaAAAAAaAAHHH
Worst Cook Alive
Cyn: Well, I’m not the most horrible cook alive, am I? Argent: …Not for long.
Butt
Bingo: If my last name was “Butt,” I would change it. Cyn: To what? Something more refined, like Derriere? Perhaps Keister, or maybe Tush?
Prepare for the Unexpected
Cyn: Urgh, another bad fortune! “The smart thing is to prepare for the unexpected.”You can’t prepare for the unexpected! If you prepared for it, you expected it!
If Not, Ha
Cyn: That should fix your problem, but if not, ha. Hahaha. HAHAHAH!
Expectations
Die Monday, Die
Paffle
Cyn: What is this??
Ice Bucket Challenge
Cyn: Argent, if you don’t dump this ice water on your head, you have to pay me $100 and give me your sandwich. If you do pour the ice water on your head, I’m only going to eat your sandwich. Argent: I don’t think that’s how it works, Cyn.
Ghost Costume
Cyn: Heh. Neat.
Pasta
Cyn: Why does pasta come in so many different shapes? I’m getting wheel noodles. Nobody can stop me!
Blood Type
Cyn: My blood type is AB. Bingo: Oh. Mine is red.
Words Are Toys
Cyn: Women are handsome. Men are beautiful. Words are toys.
How to Identify a Cat
Cyn: How to identify a cat: Dog: walk we’re going for a walk are we going for a walk oh yes so fun let’s go outside walk and look at fun things outside walk oh I can’t wait are we leaving now is it time to leave will we walk fast or slow oh my… Read more »
Bee Vomit
Cyn: Hey Raúl. How about some bee vomit on your pancakes?
Poll Paradox
Cyn: Do you answer polls? Poll: Yes | No Cyn: I see this trap.
Inaccessible Email
Cyn: Hm. I sent an email to notify people not to worry if they’re having trouble logging in to their email. I may need to rethink this.
Trilobites
Bingo: My external hard drive is 4 trilobites. Cyn: You mean 4 terabytes. Bingo: Terabytes?
My Name Is
Pug: Why hello, Bingo! Bingo: How did you know my name?
Too Much Good
Cyn: Too much of a good thing isn’t good.It’s wonderful!